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Ah, there you are. Your uncle's not here at the moment, so I just wanted a discreet little word with you.

Good. It's about, uh, last night, when you had your sleepover with us, when your parents were away.

Well, I've just been into your room to strip the bed, and, uh, I'm amazed at all the stains in there.

Would you like to tell me what they are?

Well, were you wanking yourself?